Leaving

For the last seven years I have not lived in one place for longer than 16 months. Three of those years I spent teaching in another country which means that I've always left boxes behind. There are boxes in Ben Yancer's garage and boxes in my brother's basement. I'm leaving again soon and this time, am determined to not leave so much of my stuff, which I realize is part of myself, behind. On Friday we start the garage sale and most of it's going to go. This marks day two of sorting and it's hard. I love my stuff. I love my books. I love the gifts people have given me. I love my mementos of travels. I love my clothes. I remember who I was when I read those things or bought them or wore them. I liked knowing that wherever I was that they were there.

But for this next journey I'm letting them go. In my spiritual practice, Jesus is my guru. Not necessarily by choice, but I accepted him all the same. I can't help but think of Jesus telling the rich man to sell all he has and follow him. I don't consider myself rich, which is why I'm selling all (most) of what I have and giving the money to myself, but still, I feel the conflict. To the best of my ability, I will take the plunge anyway. I will follow romance and adventure with a little trunk of who I was left behind. But even if that were to perish, I will still be what I will be.